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Leica in Opera - A Masterpiece

Vic . , Sep 05, 2006; 09:31 p.m.

I don�t know who Peter Klein is, but he deserves a place in the Leica hall of fame for creating this masterpiece:

Which can be found on:
http://leica-users.org/v27/msg07907.html
and
http://medfmt.8k.com/mf/wimps.html


"I Am A Total Devotee of Leica M Photography"
Copyright (c) 2004 Peter A. Klein
Sung to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"
Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan

- - - - -
Scene: A photographic gathering in a posh metropolitan hotel. The Master Amateur is holding forth on the glories of Leica. He is dressed in a battered old raincoat and a French beret. In his hand is a battered M3 covered with black tape. He is surrounded by a chorus of paunchy middle-aged men, each wearing an enormous autofocus SLR with zoom lens. The lenses bounce on their bellies when they sing.
- - - - -

(MASTER AMATEUR)
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
I will not buy a digicam, I won't do videography.
I read the work of Lager with his product list canonical.
I'll never use a plastic lens with focus ultrasonical.

I look at other cameras with an attitude that's whimsical.
I do not want an SLR with viewing pentaprimsical.
The look of glass from Asia makes me squint my eyes and squirm a knee.
I'd rather get my lenses from a little town in Germany.

(CHORUS)
He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.
He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.
He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germa-Germa-ny.

(MASTER AMATEUR)
I will never put my camera on a tripod that is teetering.
I cannot understand the need for modern matrix metering.
Look back upon my history, it's all in my biography:
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

(CHORUS)
Look back upon his history, it's all in his biography:
He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.


(MASTER AMATEUR)
I love my Leica cameras with passion that's tyrannical
A rangefinder, a floating frame, and everything mechanical.
The shutter curtain's rubberized, and fashioned from the finest silk.
The lenses have a bokeh that is smooth as summer buttermilk.

My fifty f-two Summicron takes landscapes that are lyrical.
I pierce the gloomy shadows with my Summilux aspherical.
I must have Leica quality although it costs me lots o' bucks.
I bought a ninety APO, I'm saving for a Noctilux.

He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.
He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.
He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Nocti-Nocti-lux.

I develop all my Tri-X film in acid that's ascorbical.
I try to make my photos have a reference metaphorbical.
And so throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

(CHORUS)
And so throughout his history, we find in his biography:
He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.


(MASTER AMATEUR)
I want to be like Eisenstadt and Smith and Frank and HCB.
I take my Christmas photos in a style that's documentary.
I never shoot at weathered rocks and twisted trees and gnats and logs.
There's universal pathos in my pictures of my cats and dogs.

I lurk in bars and coffeshops, and stalk the streets with Delphic glee.
To shoot unwary passers-by with Leica mounted pelvically.
But when I spy a plant that has a lovely flower's bloom upon.
I take a dazzling close-up with my dual-ranging Summicron.

(CHORUS)
He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.
He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.
He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summi-Summi-cron.

(MASTER AMATEUR)
And although I've tried the other brands they always are inferior.
They can't resolve the fuzz upon a baby's bare posterior.
That's why throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:
I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

(CHORUS)
That's why throughout his history, you'll find in his biography:
He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.

------------
--Peter Klein
Seattle, WA

Responses


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E Walker , Sep 05, 2006; 09:35 p.m.

hmmmm. people with waaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands who need to justify for their inner peace why they spent waaaaaaaay too much money on their cameras...

Stephen W. , Sep 05, 2006; 09:49 p.m.

Vikram,

Funny, I expected to see some nice pic's.

Nolan Ross , Sep 05, 2006; 10:00 p.m.

Maybe the M8 will have a sound system and can sing the Leica song..Nolan

Bill Mitchell , Sep 05, 2006; 10:21 p.m.

Thanks! I needed that! (Hope that damn tune isn't running through my head all night, though. Da dade dade dade dade dade dade dadade.... Oh mein Gott, it's started!)

Mark Amos , Sep 05, 2006; 10:27 p.m.

...very, very clever...and acute..

Al Kaplan - Miami, FL , Sep 05, 2006; 11:02 p.m.

It needs a chorus line of scantily dressed women.

john richard massey , Sep 06, 2006; 04:28 a.m.

Perhaps the curtains could travel in the same direction (and the follow-spots could burn holes in them) - towards the end of the production's run the right-hand side of stage could be darker than the left, but to begin with only during certain scenes. Maybe Mel Brooks would be up for it - and in the grand finale they would all board a freedom-train and ride off into the sunset, this would also help to keep the production costs reassuringly high.

H. P. , Sep 06, 2006; 05:49 a.m.

It's a very clever pastiche.

Kevin Mendenhall , Sep 06, 2006; 06:36 a.m.

"There's universal pathos in my pictures of my cats and dogs. "

Funny stuff, Vic, thanks!


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