I have another photo of this woman, involving a young man, seated upward of her and to her left, gazing towards her, as she looks forlornly rightward.
I won't post it right away, but it will have a way of showing up somewhere in my portfolio (maybe not in this folder), for good photographs have a way of not getting forgotten by me, but I also have a tradition of not doing 'series' generally, with a few exceptions, especially in this particular folder and my other principal folders. I believe in showing my Renaissance capabilities, as I develop them, or at least 'realise' them . . . and realise that I have them ;~))
As to the subject of loneliness, I choose to be 'lonely' . . . which to me simply means being alone and/or being with someone who is incompatible, rather than choose to be with someone who is incompatible, or to 'fall into' something that is unsuitable and I am unsuitable for many people, but greatly suitable for far more than ever would know it, but there's almost no way for them to know it.
So, like you, I'll be traveling, but my companions in the near term are two (getting to be long-term) friends depicted in my portfolio, both so young that viewing their photos almost disturbs me, but they have souls of the ages and great wisdom as well as 'soul' and both are not only quite pretty but will help me attract the photo models I seek as I travel and seek to develop my glamour skills and portfolio.0
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No model who has worked for me has indicated she would have any hesitancy to work for me again/in fact there is a waiting list for when I return to Ukraine, of women who say 'can I be next' and 'don't forget me' because I truly treat them well.
And that's exactly how I treat my traveling companions and friends, and Ransford, since you indicate you have some age (and some verve) I recommend traveling to Eastern Europe where the attitude to older persons is remarkably different than in the U.S. For one thing, older men who are healthy are remarkable for their scarcity in countries like Russia and Ukraine where once-vaunted medical care is diminishing as doctors after 1991 rushed out to drive taxis and emigrated to places like the US and elsewhere where they could do the same, while studying to be 'foreign' doctors.
And native medical care in such places often is a melange of nutritionism, science, pseudoscience, naturopathy, chiropracty, osteopathy etc., all blended, and not completely disciplined because a generalist education and a B.A. and/or B.S. are NOT requisites to study for medicine/it's done right out of secondary school, and the result is some fair amount of quackery among even the dedicated -- as well as just some eccentric ideas held by otherwise mainstream and fully licensed doctors.
And in Russia, I personally can attest, having been hospitalized there once with pneumonia, I had my own personal cockroach -- there would have been more, but I was in the VIP room, with my sole attendant cockroach.
He kept from breeding because no mate would come near; there was no food for miles. The hospital served gruel, but relatives normally brought food for the patients or the patients ate the gruel (and I guess the cockroaches wouldn't touch it).
My second wife, after giving birth, had six operations in a major Russian hospital to her abdomen, apparently the result of peritonitis stemming from poorly sterilized instruments, depriving her of first months of bonding with her just-born and only child and destroying her first marriage -- leaving her with a lifetime distrust of men (which she's getting over the longer she knows me, but she still surreptitiously blames me for the ever unpopular idea of causing the brain cancer which struck her at age 29, and continues now several years later and MAY now be cured, according to her.)
As noted, we do not live together, and have stayed married solely for legal/tax reasons. I haven't seen her for over a year and a half, and she truly is a sight for any male's eyes (see her and her daughter in my single photo/color folder wearing a hat with her daughter in front of a goldfish pond, not looking her best, but still stunning, and after her brain cancer struck.)
It recently was noted in the news that researchers had identified that many Americans had NO FRIENDS at all, and that in many cases the Internet had replaced the role of friends in the lives of many.
Beware.
It has partly happened to me; even matchmaking is through outfits like Match.com where it is utterly impossible to reveal 'who' I am, because I cannot display my gusto and the chemistry that my 22-year-old assistant and I found together as we walked in Red Square a year ago this week, then spent the night just talking before I caught a plane to Ukraine. That chemistry has proved so major and so enduring that I gather it's something that could last a lifetime; I make her laugh and she causes me to make her laugh more. (What could be better?) And she works harder than anybody without complaint with an intellectual capacity for just about anything.
My second companion, three years younger, was singled out by a professor at her institute for individual tutoring and although it's a good 300-400 miles away, she's already had dinner as a guest of the vice major of Kiev -- remarkable for someone only 19 and not 'on the make' but with a soul to be envied and often remarked on.
Cradle robber? No, if they were in the US I would never know them; they'd be far too immature; growing up in Russia/Ukraine matures a person preternaturally and huge intellectual capacity rounds that all out for both of them.
And there are women of that age in Ukraine I would never want to meet; they're far too immature; I attract the smart, mature ones. But in the U.S. I never get a chance to meet them. That's part of the attraction of Russia and Ukraine; women don't disrespect older men; they respect a person who has made a living and can 'survive' as so many of their man just cannot.
And nobody I know is 'submissive' either; all are giants intellectually and personally; not that I require that, and not all have great education - that's helpful but entirely idiosyncratic. I don't seek that out, but it just happens.
(Seeing my photography helps; viewing my cameras out on the street or in a restaurant gives people who want to meet me a clue that I may be 'different' or not 'ordinary' -- as I don't look particularly 'touristic').
It's partly the same in the U.S., but in the U.S., most desirable women have a compunction to 'be married' and no problem 'hooking up' with eligible men. Moreover, many women have a penchant for 'hooking up' with men who are bad choices -- they're bad pickers. They won't be picking me, or if they do, it would be 'all wrong'.
And I can say that I have learned more recently a great deal about women, not the least from some 'masters' in ways that cannot be revealed, and that with my new found knowledge, I have great insight into what motivates women. I am able now to talk frankly with women about subjects they don't and won't talk about with any other male.
My photo stylist Rita (Rita of 'Rita and Alina' -- the blonde depicted in another folder) whom I don't know well at all, has asked me: 'John, do you have a camera in my home' so 'right on' were my observations about her character and her predilections, and another time 'John, do you have a degree in psychiatry about women?'
I don't, either, and two years ago, could never have written this. That knowledge didn't come easily or naturally.
It's new found knowledge I wish I had years past.
I owe that knowledge and ability mainly to one unconventional source which helped me put it all together in an unconventional way and it now has coalesced. Would that I had it when I was 15.
I know that my chances of finding 'happiness' with a mate in the US are slim not because she doesn't exist but because of the difficulty in finding her; she will be very young at heart and very smart and have other qualities with the primary one being chemistry -- we'll get along. My second wife and I had that but brain cancer interfered.
My assistant, Annya would be a prime candidate for affection by me if she were quite a bit older, but she is deeply in love with her boyfriend and she's far too young. I have a great affection for her; but would never interfere with her relationship with her beloved boyfriend.
Besides, I have long lived with a belief that one doesn't mess with the help.
(My first wife kept plenty of pretty young women around our house; ostensibly as babysitters and au pairs and never once did I even make a 'pass' at any of those wonderful young women.)
(Alas)
Ransford, being lonely is something that sometimes just 'happens' and one must take active steps to overcome.
If one is a photographer of people, one necessarily must do so 'alone' unless one is as fortunate as I to find an assistant who likes to participate (and that's brand new for me), because 'street photography' usually is best practiced 'alone'.
But in the process, I meet tons of people, particularly abroad, but also here. I get constant requests for photos which I always turn down, giving my Photo.net ID with a reference to 'look me up on Google.com -- the world's handiest address!!!)
And I get my hand shaken a lot.
People are interested in talent; I have some of that, not only in photography but in other fields as well. (I presume you do as well.)
I wish there had been a Bay Area camera club not full of self-important people (which included people such as yourself - e.g. not self-important) before I sold my Santa Cruz home recently, as I would have driven far to join and attend meetings.
Even now there are PN members of prominence in the Bay Area I'd love to get to know, if they wanted to be sociable (and if I roost in the Bay Area permanently -- who knows where I'll eventually end up?)
And one day soon, I'll probably turn professional; PN's getting too small for me -- my output is too great for such a service; I need to be placing my output in stock photography, galleries, museums, advertising agencies and magazines, etc., AND to get published -- and within a month I'll be touring NYC publishers with my work, looking for a publisher (any suggestions or references by anybody are greatly appreciated -- my e-mail address is on my bio page . . . be sure to use the words 'help in getting published' or similar words to avoid getting flushed down the junk mail toilet;~)) )
And, Ransford, as a professional, I'll get plenty of company, I think, which is important for a guy who's been self-employed all his adult life -- literally 'the boss' who could not 'fraternize' with the help in a social way because 'staff' always was only one or two persons who had significant real lives, and during that time I always was married.
I LOVE taking photos, but it takes a special mood (and overnight just to get into gear) for me to tackle my vast inventory of photos stretching back eight or more months with Photoshop. I've been doing that all night last night, as the Internet was down and I'm getting faster at Photoshop now (still don't use layers or masks, however . . . if you can believe that and never had a class.)
Shooting raw, moreover, still perplexes me, though I'm shooting raw+jpeg more and more, just for future's sake, but I find it daunting to process raw, and then I only end up with a JPEG, TIFF, or other file which still must be processed (though not as much). For instance, Photoshop Camera Raw does not allow one to do 'selections' -- that's left for the jpeg, psd, or tiff output.
Shooting raw's chief advantage is the ability to change color temperature and a slight increase in exposure range, as I see it. I don't need those things too often, and color temperture changes should be something that Photoshop should be able to handle with a jpeg file (it cannot, truly, or at all with any ease, unless one goes into LAB mode, which I am fearful of and untutored in.)
Ransford, I came to Photo.net with old photos from my well-spent youth, uncertain whether photography held anything for me and wanting to display my older works, which I was certain were important (to me), not knowing if I could still take a photo and wishing for an 'audience' before I resumed photography - lack of audience is what really killed my photography ambitions.
Now I have that audience, and it's transforming my life.
Maybe you can find a way to help it transform your life socially as well as intellectually and transform it into more than a stimulating way to 'fill time'.
Best wishes again for a New Year filled with great company).
John (Crosley)