New York Vignettes

by Philip Greenspun, 1995

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"It is an art form to hate New York City properly. So far I have always been a featherweight debunker of New York; it takes too much energy and endurance to record the infinite number of ways the city offends me. Were I to list them all, I would fill up a book the size of the Manhattan yellow pages, and that would merely be the prologue."

-- Pat Conroy (Prince of Tides)

I used to live in New York and, in just 32 hours, had some interesting experiences at the theater, hanging out, stuffing my face, or just shopping for chocolate, cameras, etc.. I would don my photo vest and schlep over to the Lesbian & Gay Pride March or the Halloween Parade. Although I try to be open minded at these mostly-gay events, I have to say that I enjoyed more being in a hotel, surrounded by thousands of fashion models.

When I was a tourist, I did crazy things like get up at 5:00 am on a cold December day and go to the Fish Market (before the Mafia burned it down). Bruce and I tried to answer the question "Can a man who looks like Elroy Jetson find happiness in a Jewish deli?".

Of course, no visit to New York would be complete without the obligatory bust and/or a look at some of the Times Square strippers about to be displaced by Disney.

Sometimes, the city gets to you and there is no alternative but to hop in the Porsche and head for Atlantic City or the New Jersey State Fair. Probably the best way to feel comfortable in the city is to bring your dog.

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